Dear Abby: My 18 year old daughter recently broke up with her boyfriend. She caught him talking on the phone with another female, and there were other signs of his infidelity as well. She was devastated, and so was I. I really liked the guy, but he clearly didn't care about my daughter or her feelings.
I told my daughter that everything would be okay in time. But there are many memories of him, so it is difficult for her. He sent her a message to apologize, but then blocked her. He also blocked her on Instagram. She doesn't understand why. I said maybe the other girl told him that or he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore. How can I help my daughter in this crisis? — Love hurts in New York
Dear love hurtsSuggest to your daughter that if she has mementos of this romance, she should get rid of them or put them somewhere she won't see them. The same goes for the music that reminds her of him. People cope with these traumatic experiences by staying busy and not allowing themselves time to think. Encourage her to socialize with friends and stay active. As for why this young man apologized and then blocked her, I think he apologized because he felt guilty, and then blocked her because he wanted to move on.
Dear Abby: Our daughter and son-in-law live with us. She is painting the interior to update our 27 year old house and wants to update the cabinets at her own expense. Every time she tries to make things better, her father gets angry and accuses her of trying to take over his house before he died. (This is not true). He says if you ask anyone they will agree. I say he is wrong. What do we do? — Raised in Indiana
Dear styling: If your daughter and her husband want to paint and install new cabinets only in the space of the house they occupy, your husband needs to contain his anger. If your daughter is trying to do more with the idea that she will inherit the place at some point, your husband's anger may be justified. You are all adults. Find a way to discuss this and come to a compromise.
Dear Abby: My mother is starting to drive me crazy. She believes that in order for me to consider myself a successful professional woman, I need a job that has consistent, stable hours, offers health benefits, and has a retirement plan.
I have a job, but due to the pandemic, my work hours are temporarily staggered. I don't have any benefits, but I can manage these things (insurance and retirement) myself. How do I make my mom understand this and stop treating me like a little kid who has no plans for my future? — At wits end in maryland
Dear at the end of your witsIt is a mother’s job to worry about her children, so be patient with her. If your reassurance isn't enough to stop her comments, show her the papers that support your case.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jane Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
