Dear Abe: She was sexually abused as a child. For this reason, as an adult, I have problems about touching them. I have received a treatment, I am better, but I am still uncomfortable with physical communication. I simply ask people to ask me before they touch me, and I usually agree.
The issue is my mother -in -law. She refuses to ask before touching me and often pulls me into an unwanted hug or comes behind me. She explained to her about my history, so you know why I want her to ask me first, but she is spreading her and says she will not hurt me. On one occasion she said, “What? Do you think I will attack you?” No, I don't think it will attack me. This issue is about me, and it has no, but it does not understand that.
My husband throws his hands and refuses to participate, because he hates his position in the middle. How can I make her understand that I need to ask before putting her hands on me? – Illinois protection
Dear Protection: Tell your mother -in -law again, when you are calm, that because of your history of abuse, you do not want to touch without being asked first. If she said, “Do you think I will attack you?” It should be your response, “this exactlyWhat is the feeling! It seems as if I was attacked. Don't do that! “If you do that after that, then, in my opinion, you have all the right to defend yourself.
Note: There should be WIMP from the husband there during this conversation.
Dear Abe: I have always considered my friend “Mary” to be mine better friend. We are in the mid -fifties now and we live in different countries, but we have always been in touch. When you come to visit, stay with me. Sometimes I take it at the airport, and give it a guest room to stay in it. I never asked her any money. i am single. Everything was fine. We enjoyed each other.
Mary recently asked whether I could stay in her home (overnight) and explained that I am not mindful of sleeping on the sofa. She said that she could not even be for one night because she has a small apartment, nor a guest room and she is married. I was hurting because I never expected her refusal, especially the part “I am married”, because it implicitly did not trust me with her husband. Frankly, you were difficult and unable.
I still love Mary, but I cannot overcome what she said. Am I very sensitive? I cry about this every time I remember. – I was thrown into Portoresto
Dear Al -Ladia: Your friend tells you that she does not have a house; She lives in a small apartment. It can be one bedroom or studio. Instead of indicating that you might come to her husband, she may have been trying to transfer in her brief statement that he is not open to a guest sleep on his sofa. I know you are disappointed, but stop taking this personally. When visiting, you will get the full picture.
Dear Abe, written by Abigil van Burin, also known as Jin Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Call my dear Abby to http://www.dearabby.com or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069.
