Making friends isn’t as easy as sharing a juice box or pushing each other on the swings anymore.
According to new research, kids nowadays are actually struggling to make new friends amid the ongoing loneliness epidemic, and parents blamed hurdles like social awkwardness or bullying as just some of the causes.
The C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health, which surveyed 1,031 parents to children aged 6 to 12, found that one in five parents claimed their kids have no friends or not enough friends, while 90% reported that their children would like to make more friends.
“Friendships can play a significant role in children’s overall health and development, emotional well-being, self-esteem and social skills,” Mott Poll co-director Sarah Clark said in a statement.
“But some parents say their children face barriers in making friends, such as personality, social anxiety, medical conditions or just not having as many opportunities.”
Data showed that 21% of parents said their child being shy or socially awkward was a barrier to making friends, while 18% said their kids had “no time” to make friends.
Not having a place to hang out together (16%), other kids already forming their own friend groups (17%) and other children being mean (15%) were also listed as culprits for friendship difficulties, while medical conditions or disabilities accounted for less than 10% of responses.
“For some children, making new friends can be stressful,” Clark explained. “Remember that children are still developing and practicing their social skills while making and maintaining friendships.
Luckily, a majority of parents are taking steps to help their children cultivate new friendships, with 71% saying they’ve taken action over the last year by arranging play dates, signing their kids up for extracurricular activities, offering advice, becoming friends with parents who have kids the same age as their own, granting their kids permission to use social media to connect with others and buying things to help their kids “fit in.”
“Supporting children in making friends is a balance of guidance, encouragement, and giving them space to navigate social situations independently,” Clark explained.
While parents’ levels of involvement may differ depending on their child’s needs, Clark also warned parents to only interfere “in matters of safety,” while urging parents “who choose to allow social media” to teach their kids to “use it responsibly.”
More than one-third of respondents also admitted they would prefer if their child befriended kids from families with specific religious or political affiliations, per the survey, which Clark cautioned against.
“School is often viewed as a place where children will encounter and form connections with peers with different backgrounds, ideas, customs, and ways of thinking,” she said.
“Limiting a child’s friends to only those from similar backgrounds may hamper their ability and comfort in navigating diverse networks in the future.”
