Dear Abe: I am lucky because most of my neighbors are nice and taking into account. We all enjoyed sharing each other's celebrations. However, there is one of the five families that we could not communicate with on a personal level. Despite our efforts, such as giving gifts and food, it has always been unwanted. While there is no hostility, there is also no relationship.
Recently, an issue has been increasingly annoying. Their garage is full of property to stop their car outside. Unfortunately, the car has a very sensitive alarm that explodes several times during the night. I have seen it being run by their cat jumping on the car. The alarm looks for 15 to 20 seconds, and it is high enough to boycott sleep, which has been a continuous problem during the past six months.
I consider myself a comfortable person in general, but this is frustrating. What is the most respectable way to address this problem with the family, given that we had a limited interaction with them? – Naasan in Bulves, Washington
Dear Naasan: Write the couple a note and explain that during the past six months, their car warning was awakened by you. I indicate that the reason may be a jumping cat on the car in the early hours of the morning, and ask whether it is possible to adjust the alarm to be less sensitive or if it is possible to keep the members of the Froe family inside.
They will not know that there is a problem if you don't connect a problem. (I wonder how the rest of the neighbors feel about this?) If the turmoil continues, you will have to report it as a nuisance source for the Association of Home owners, if there is one, or the police as a last resort. You have sympathy.
Dear Abe: I am 66 years old and I was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer. I will start radiotherapy soon. My wife knows it and was very supportive, but we did not share it with my children, my brothers, their relatives, or my friends.
One of the reasons for maintaining calm was that my daughter was expecting her first child, and I did not want to destroy their joy. Now the child is here, and I am still uncomfortable to inform them. What do you think? Should I tell them, keep it secret or let my wife tell them after that, should you not survive? – Secret in California
Dear secrecy: The news or not saying is a very personal decision. This may depend on why you do not want anyone to know about your diagnosis. Think about submitting the advertisement until you start treatment and know the extent of its challenge (or no).
If you need emotional support, you may want to tell those close to you what is going on or join the cancer support group. It will be not fair for your wife to make her a delay to inform your children, your siblings, their relatives, etc. Even after you go, because she will be blamed for keeping your condition from them.
Dear Abe, written by Abigil van Burin, also known as Jin Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Call my dear Abby to http://www.dearabby.com or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069.
