Dear Abe: A new job has started a year and a half ago. He is in a small office. My manager and I am the only employees. I enjoy the task a lot, but there is a part of its aspects that have already started to wear it. Increasingly, the managers asked me to take care of his personal tasks that have nothing to do with work.
I understand that he has no other reliable person, but it should not be my problem. I am a single mother and I have two children, and I really have enough on my plate.
The straw was the last when I asked for a vacation day to make up with my entire family, and asked me to pick up his pets in the afternoon (to save the cost of her independence overnight) and gave him a trip to the house from the airport at 9:30 pm, I had to leave my family to do so.
Part of me knows that it was not fair to seek these things. I don't want to lie and say I cannot, but “I don't want it” seems trivial. I have a sufficient problem in managing my home without helping with someone else. How do I say this without losing my job? – There is no work wife in the state of Idaho
Dear, not the wife of the work: In order for your boss to expect to manage the missions for him without compensating him, he will benefit from you. The first thing I would do if you were in your shoes is to start exploring the labor market in your community. Then, if I find anything that suits my own skills, I will talk to my managers and explain that I have responsibilities after working hours that make it difficult to comply with his requests.
If he can contribute to his work, he may discover another way to operate the tasks. However, if he does not do it, you will have another function.
Dear AbeMy mother has the cancer that has been extracted, and my family is now expecting to talk to her. We had no relationship for nine years, since she left the state with her boyfriend. Abe, our relationship has been toxic since she discovered that she was pregnant with me for nearly 35 years. My family expects to take out “fire”, I did not start, just because she is sick. The last time she was in the city, she held her responsibility for the options she had, and exploded. I shouted at me, and did not respect me in my house.
Am I cruel to stand on my ground and refuse to be subjected to ill -treatment by her? Do I have to satisfy my family and give in to their pressure for my greeting? What if my mother survives only to abuse me again? A victim in Ohio
Dear victimYour mother's disease is a station. What you should decide is whether you want to make peace with them for yourself, not because relatives press you.
If the answer to this question is no, then tell these relatives with good intentions that because of the abuse that I have suffered from her hands since I was young, you feel that you lost your mother years ago, and do not feel comfortable calling her now.
Dear Abe, written by Abigil van Burin, also known as Jin Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Call my dear Abby to http://www.dearabby.com or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069.
